The Great Paper Caper

Today, on The Devil Wears Wal-Mart,

Let's refer back to the top quote from last week, shall we? I believe it went a little something like this...

"Stop worrying about doing things correctly and just do what I say."

Ok, so if I'm trying to be a good employee (which I begrudgingly am, with valiant effort at not losing my dignity or my sanity) then I should follow this sage advice, right? So today my assigned task was to make copies of our entire script, educational materials and study guide for our entire creative team. That's 7 copies of a GINORMOUS document choc-full-o musical goodness, people. I was told to take care of this task in the office, as it was the only thing assigned to me today. So I'm printing away, minding my own business, when another office patron (from a different company. We're in a shared space - NYC style) gets angry with me because "[insert company name here] is doing these huge printing jobs again after we specifically told you not to." Notice the keyword - "again." As in, this has apparently been a running theme around the office, a theme which my boss conveniently forgot to mention to me, the lowly worker bee. So I apologize profusely, quickly quit my printing job and allow my grumpy office friends to complete their printing jobs. I wait a bit, then continue printing because I have to bring the documents to the "big meeting" tomorrow. 762 pages later (yup, a ream and a half of printer paper, gone. Apparently my boss isn't one for saving the trees), I had completed the job. During that time, my grumpy office friends had apparently called my boss to say, "Hey, quit using our printer as your own personal Kinkos." So, in turn, my boss calls me. And so it begins...

The DWW proceeds to tell me that it is my fault that my grumpy office friends are grumpy, that I should have called the minute I realized that anyone was remotely upset and that I have to use "better judgement" in the office. First of all, the people in the office were grumpy because you selfishly used the office goods and services in a way you weren't supposed to, but you set me up to take the fall for it. And now I'M grumpy because you made me look like a jerk, when really I was just adhering to quote #1 from the previous week and trying to DO MY JOB!!!!!! Next, do I really need to call you "the minute" someone is upset? If that were the case, I would be in a perpetual state of on-the-phone-with-you, because everyone is upset with you ALL THE TIME! You are ridiculous! And finally, you might want to be careful instructing me to use better judgement, because better judgement would probably involve me quitting, spilling a cup of coffee on your jorts and then stomping on your big toe on the way out the door, just for good measure.

Wait until you hear the DWW's solution to this office animosity. Simply reduce the amount of daily printing generated by our office? Of course not. Purchase our own heavy-duty printer to keep up with demand and stay out of everyone else's way? Ha! No, no. My instructions from now on are to "just space out the larger printing jobs over the course of an entire day so nobody notices and we don't interrupt anybody." As in, print 762 pages...5 pages at a time...in a span of 6 hours. Yep. I was actually instructed to use good old fashioned deception to keep doing exactly what I had just been told I couldn't do. And I absolutely love how second-grade playground this plan is. Let's throw rocks at little Tommy while his back is turned, then when he turns around we'll whistle, kick the dirt and pretend it wasn't us. I think they're going to notice that I go over to the printer every hour on the hour, and that the paper supply is depleting just as fast as it did today. The DWW would probably tell me that I am overestimating the intelligence of everyone in the office, and that there is no way they would notice because they are all idiots. The condescension coming from every word breathed by this individual is astounding. Let's hear it for World's Greatest Boss.

Whew, deep breaths. So after that nonsense went down, I did actually go apologize to the grumpy office friend that was particularly offended by the excessive printing, and made sure that friend knew that I had no idea it wasn't allowed and it wouldn't happen again. They proceeded to tell me that they knew it was because the Ruler of Crazytown had decreed it, and they were not mad at me. Advantage: Rachel.

The icing on the ludicrous cake today was that after all of that, I had to cart a finished copy of the script up to 90th street to hand deliver it to the DWW, because of course the DWW couldn't be bothered with venturing more than a block from its natural habitat...and was also having a super-important meeting (a.k.a. lunch with a friend) that couldn't be interrupted. So, 5 extra subway dollars and 45 minutes later, I was free.
Here's to tomorrow's adventure. Is it August yet?

The Devil Wears Wal-Mart

Dear Blog,
It's been a while. Sorry I haven't written in a long time. Blah-dy blah-dy blah, I live in New York City now, etc.

Ok, now that the apologies and the "long time, no see's" are out of the way, let's get down to business. This blog originated as a way to write food reviews since I love to write and I REALLY love food. I'm sure I'll continue to do some food reviews (especially since I just had the best meal of my LIFE last week. Degustation in the East Village. There was stuffed squid, grilled octopus, crispy pork belly and oatmeal risotto just to name a few. I was basically living out my fantasy of being a judge on Top Chef, only with less obnoxious talk about mouth feel or over salting). But for now the cute culinary banter will have to coexist with a feature I like to call "The Devil Wears Wal-Mart." Allow me to explain:

I work hard for the money. So hard for it honey. I work hard for the money so you better treat me right. Unfortunately, some people out there do not subscribe to the Donna Summer creed. My current situation involves one key player, henceforth known as "The Devil Wears Wal-Mart". This individual has a daily habit of making condescending, ludicrous and often just plain incorrect statements, observations and demands. This individual constantly insults the intelligence of every person he or she comes in contact with, treating fully capable and extremely over-qualified adults as if they've just shown up for a play date and it's time for their juice box. So as any good writer would do, I keep a journal of the things this individual says and I will be sharing them here, just in case you need a good laugh. So without further ado, let's hop the bus to Crazy Town.

Top 6 Statements (so far) from "The Devil Wears Wal-Mart"

6. "Go get you some food in the break room, honey."
"Thanks, I will!"
"But then come straight back to your desk and eat it here. We don't have time for social hour. There's too much to do." You're right. There's too much to do. So you should probably come to the office and help us do it instead of sitting at home and calling in every 30 minutes.

5. "Don't stand with your arms crossed. You look defensive." Or just cold at 7 a.m. standing outside on a stormy day. But sure, let's go ahead and jump to defensive. It was my first day, after all.

4. "Email me when you get into the office. Then check your voice mail because I've left you a detailed message. Then call my voice mail and leave me a message repeating back to me exactly what I've said to you on the first message. Then I'll call you back to confirm." And an hour and a half later, it's time to actually get some work done! p.s. - this is the expected "daily" routine. Wow.

3. "Honey you have to double check with me before you do anything, ok? And then you have to double check with [insert random employee name here]. " First of all, if I double check a double check, I've quadruple checked. And if it's not right by then, I should probably just leave.

2. "Don't say you understand when you don't. You couldn't possibly understand what we're doing in the meeting today." So...you hired me...why then?

1. "Stop worrying about doing things correctly and just do what I say." Just process that for one second...

Check back often for new quotes, anecdotes and observations...and hopefully a food blog or two! This summer is sure to be...special?

The Windy City blew me away- cullinarily speaking

Darren and I have decided that we are going to take some sort of trip every year for our anniversary. Some years it may be a week-long extravaganza to a breathtaking international destination, and others it might be a simple weekend getaway. This year we went for option B and spent a weekend in Chicago. Sure we saw some shows, went to the aquarium and took our picture with the Bean, but anyone who knows us knows the real reason we planned this vacation, or any vacation really: the food.

Every meal was carefully planned so that we would be sure to hit up all the local favorites. We knew we had to get at least one hot dog, deep dish pizza, and steak. Two of the three were actually worth all the hype.

For our hot dog, we decided to head off the beaten path to Hot Doug's Encased Meat Emporium. We rode the El out of the Loop, then hopped on a bus and rode through neighborhoods that were anything but touristy, until we arrived at a tiny shop on the corner of a fairy residential street where the line to get in already reached around the block. Two and a half hours later we finally made our way to the counter to order. Now don't let the name scare you. When I first read the words "encased meat", I too almost gagged, but there was nothing gag-worthy about these savory sausages. Aside from basic Chicago-style dogs, this place specializes in crazy concoctions and gourmet toppings. Their sausages range from pork, beef and chicken to alligator, venison and duck. Toppings like raspberry-cherry mustard, truffle aioli, fois gras mousse and mango-passionfruit mayonaisse set this place apart from the run-of-the-mill hot dog carts in the heart of the city. And if that's not enough to tempt you, how about some duck fat fries? Let me slow that down for you: duck...fat...fries. Only served on Fridays and Saturdays, these fries were like a good man (hot and rich!), but not overly greasy. I have a slight french fry addiction and these certainly didn't help. Restaurant choice number one was a success.

For our pizza, we went to a classic. Gino's East with writing all over the walls and a big, gaudy sign out front looked like tourist heaven, but when we went inside it wasn't particularly crowded. We ordered a deep dish with pepperoni and spinach (had to throw a vegetable in there to make ourselves feel better after the duck fat fries). The pizza was everything I had hoped for, and the crust almost tasted like a funnel cake. It was easy to see why this place is a Chicago staple.

As for the steak, biggest disappointment of the trip. We went to Gene and Georgetti, which is always listed in American Way Magazine as one of the top ten independent steakhouses in America. I don't know if they are just taking Gene or Georgetti's word for it, but certainly whoever put them on that list never actually ate there. The waiter was rude, the bread was stale, the mashed potatoes tasted like they came out of a box and the steaks had absolutely no flavor. It's generally a bad sign when the waiter brings out bottles of ketchup and A1 before the steaks even come out. It's basically like an apology up front. Apology not accepted.

We made up for that unfortunate experience by eating at two wonderful local restaurants that I put in a class called "Top Chef-y". It's a technical term, I know. The first was called MK. We sat under a beautiful skylight which filled the room with sunshine for our pre-show dinner. They immediately brought out some sort of first taste served in a tiny ceramic spoon. It was light and citrusy and meant to prepare our palettes for the meal to come...I guess. Whatever it was, I liked it, I loved it, I wanted some more of it. I had roast duck with artichokes and Darren had grilled salmon. Both were very tasty, but our appetizer/sidedish stole the show so much that just now I had a hard time recalling what I actually ate for dinner. As mentioned before, I have a french fry addiction and I have no plans for recovery any time soon. As an appetizer, we ordered french fries (pommes frites at a place like this) which came with truffle cream. This truffle cream is one of the top three foods I have ever eaten. I'm a sucker for a good dipping sauce anyway, but I still have dreams about this truffle cream. I almost asked for a refill, which apparently is common because the menu even lists the price for "extra truffle cream". I think Darren expressed our feelings best when he said, "I want to grow truffles in our backyard so I can make this every day!"

After we saw a show (Jersey Boys, MUCH better than I was expecting), we hopped the bus out to a dessert restaurant called Hot Chocolate. Again, very "Top Chef-y" where the presentation is just as important as the taste. My dessert came with a tiny shot of peanut butter milkshake and different drizzles of all sorts of sugary creations. The portions were tiny but the flavors were intense. They also serve, as you might expect, several versions of hot chocolate. Milk, dark, white and various combinations of the three served warm, iced or with a shot of liqueur. This restaurant is dedicated to those who love chocolate and is open late, when the chocolate cravings usually hit. It's a few steps off of a major intersection of night-life, so we didn't feel all alone but we didn't feel over crowded either, although the tables in the restaurant were very close together and I'm pretty sure I put my elbow in someone's drink while trying to sit down. But in a place serving so much chocolate, everyone is so happy that no one seemed to notice or care.

As our tastebud adventure came to a close, we felt pretty good about our choices. Since we walked everywhere or took the El instead of taking cabs, eating our way through Chicago wasn't too bad on our wallets or our waistlines. But next time we'll know better: skip the steakhouse and order that second round of truffle cream.

Ah, those Summer nights!

Tell me more, tell me more!

Ok, so the Grease reference may not be entirely applicable, because the food is anything but greasy, but summer nights on the covered patio at Rosario's in Edgehill Village are worthy of breaking into song. Not to mention the half-price margaritas!

As a native Texan who grew up in Oklahoma and has a serious affection for Mexican food, Nashville was a rude awakening. Great music, great meat and threes, terrible Mexican food. Don't get me wrong. I appreciate the wonder of the Jim Nacho and Nolensville Road has its fair share of authentic tasty tacos; but when you've grown up on the fiery fresh flavors of Tex-Mex right down the street from the ultimate Mexican food mecca, Ted's Cafe Escondido in Edmond, OK., the bar is set pretty high. My search for great Mexican food in Nashville has been ongoing. For six years I've struggled through enchilada after soggy enchilada, occasionally finding a local gem like Baja Burrito, which is in a class all by itself. But as far as straightforward Mexican restaurants were concerned, none in Nashville had captured my heart.

Until one day I happened to drive by Rosario's. A random sighting, a pleasantly serendipitous event which would forever change my view of the culinary map of Nashville. It wasn't crowded. A few people on the covered patio enjoying chips and salsa, but it was a beautiful day and the patio looked inviting. I decided I would take my parents there when they came to visit.

Edgehill Village is a strange place. A small strip of funky boutiques, a bakery, that crazy bubble tea shop, Edgehill Studios Cafe and performance venue, and Rosario's Mexican restaurant nestled in the middle of a residential neighborhood. As we sat on the patio we saw families with strollers, sweaty joggers with ipods and people on their front porches just enjoying the evening. We enjoyed our half-price pitcher of margaritas, often a happy hour special, and the chips with two kinds of salsa. The mild has a unique flavor you just have to taste to understand and the hot, which isn't really that hot for a midwestern gal, has a more sweet, tomato-y flavor. And for all you guacamole fans out there, Rosario's has a great version with big chunks of fresh avocado in every bite. Mmmm.

Everyone at the table got something different. The shrimp quesadillas were a big hit, packed full of shrimp unlike some places that only give you a handful in each dish, and the chicken chimichanga with the green sauce (more highly recommended than the red sauce, even by the waiters, but they'll bring you both if you want to find out for yourself) was big enough to have leftovers.

But the real reason to go to Rosario's? Two words: fish tacos. I don't even like fish tacos all that much, generally speaking. They're usually made with greasy, breaded mystery fish and some kind of limp cabbage swimming in a sauce of questionable origin. Not at Rosario's. They make theirs with blackened Tilapia filets topped with a beautiful mango salsa, southwestern slaw, guacamole and a balsamic glaze. That's right, I said balsamic glaze! The colors alone are worth the trip. With brilliant oranges, purples and greens, this dish is tasty before it hits your tongue. I have been back three times since that first visit, and the fish tacos have been great every time (because I just can't bring myself to NOT get them! Maybe one day...).

Rosario's specializes in a higher form of Mexican food, so the prices are a little higher than your average Mexican restaurant but certainly not unmanageable, especially for the quality of the food and the atmosphere. So if you are looking for a little Summer lovin' to have you a blast, head to Rosario's, sit on the patio and toast to those Summer nights.

Always Save Room for Cupcakes

Move over Magnolia and bugger off Buttercup! There's a new cupcake in town.

The cupcake trend has finally made its way to Nashville in the form of a tiny shop in Midtown called Gigi's cupcakes. It has only been open a few months and already it's the talk of the town. The Midtown area is becoming more and more trendy with additions like the new contemporary Latin-American restaurant Lime and the upscale condos, and Gigi's gives the area an extra boost of fun.

Go in on any Saturday morning and you'll find a line out the door with people enjoying a treat for breakfast or picking up a few dozen for a party that night. The tiny shop with its even tiny-er bar seating area can only fit about a dozen (or maybe a baker's dozen), but luckily the people are outnumbered by the beautifully crafted cupcakes on display. With over 30 flavors, each one handmade and decorated, a person is almost forced, though certainly not against their will, to keep coming back to try them all.

Chocolate lovers will appreciate the rich, dark Midnight Magic, the creamy Texas Milk Chocolate and the nostalgic Chocolate Malt while more adventurous cupcake conoisseurs can sink their sweet tooth into Gingerbread, Hunka Hunka Banana Love, Tiramisu, Lemon Cream Supreme or a host of other creations. Each cake costs $3.00 or $2.75 if you order by the dozen.

Another thing locals will love about Gigi's is that Nashville's coffee darling Bongo Java has created a signiture roast specifically for Gigi's and only available in the store. Just another reason to drop by for a morning pick-me-up, an afternoon snack or a surprise to bring home for dinner. Because really, when is it ever a bad time for cupcakes? Never.

Mama Mia! This stuff is good.

I love Italian food. No, I mean I really love Italian food. I may have actually been Italian in a past life. It doesn't matter how many combinations of pasta, sauce and cheese you throw at me in a day. I will never get tired of Italian food. So when it was brought to my attention that there was an Italian restaurant in Nashville that I had yet to investigate, I had to immediately remedy the situation. What's even more unbelieveable is that I had passed the restaurant every day for a year on my way to work, but it never grabbed my attention. Then a friend told me she had heard good things, so I did a little friendly Google-ing and found rave reviews for this unsuspecting eatery.

Enough was enough and I finally found my way to Mama Mia's, behind a gas station in an old building that looks like it used to be either a Waffle House or a bait shop. As we stepped inside, I noticed two things right away. One: it was 6:00 and already crowded. Two: people kept coming in the door with paper bags. The reason behind number one became obvious as the line forming behind us went out the door. The reason for number two is one of the most endearing and unique points of the restaurant. Mama Mia's does not sell alcohol, but encourages its customers to walk down the strip mall to the wine store, purchase some Pinot Grigio and bring it back to the table to enjoy for a $5 corking fee.

Since there is no waiting area things got very crowded very quickly, but for such a small restaurant with a small staff, we were seated as promptly as could be expected. Then came the basket of bread, buttery, covered in garlic and tearably soft. I single-handedly ate two entire loaves, and I'd happily do it again.

I think the best part about Mama Mia's is the menu's dare-to-be-different attitude. You won't find fried cheese sticks or spaghetti and meatballs at this place. This is real Italian food, with robust flavors and imaginative sauces. I had shells stuffed with spinach, topped with sun-dried tomatoes, prosciutto and a fontina cream sauce. As a general rule, anything involving prosciutto is a winner in my book, and this was certainly no exception. The sauce was complimentary, not overpowering, and my leftovers were just as good the next day for lunch.

Mama Mia's is everything you might expect from an upscale Italian bistro, minus the high prices and snooty atmosphere. A nice dinner for two can cost less than $40 and I'm pretty sure there is no threat of your waiter bursting into song for a hefty tip. Mama Mia's is unpretentious dining for those who are all about the food. It took me back to an Italian restaurant from my home town, also located behind a gas station and some of the best Italian food I've ever had. That place is gone now but will always be remembered whenever I enjoy Mama Mia's, which I assure you will be frequently.

Let's do brunch

Not quite breakfast, not quite lunch. It's the meal with a bad case of cankles: you can't tell where one ends and the other begins. Several restaurants in Nashville have started serving brunch on Sundays as an appetizing alternative to their everyday menus. One such restaurant that achieves a particularly classy and cohesive brunch atmosphere is Tin Angel.

Located on West End, this art deco speakeasy of contemporary cuisine has mastered the fusion of breakfast and lunch. The green eggs and ham frittata claims that Sam I Am would love it anywhere, and the same was true for my mom. Like an open-face omelette, this savory specialty was a pairing of eggs, cheese and sauteed spinach sprinkled with ham. My mom opted to substitute the ham for Tin Angel's homemade sausage and the kitchen was more than happy to oblige. Other savory options include huevos rancheros, quiche loren and several varieties of omelettes.

For those with a sweet tooth, the banana brulee French toast or waffles caribe are both excellent options. The French toast includes a lemon ricotta filling which adds just the right amount of zip and the waffles come with a banana rum syrup, turning the traditional breakfast item into more of a traditional dessert item, bananas foster. The sweet potato biscuits with cinammon butter make a nice addition to any brunch choice.

For those who just can't fathom the idea of breakfast after 10, there are also choices of soup, salad, sandwiches and even a burger. But for the mose part, Tin Angel's brunch menu is for those who can't quite decide. Breakfast or lunch, adventurous or traditional, savory or sweet, Tin Angel puts it all together into a fusion of fabulous dining.