Huh?

Today could only be described as...strange. Not good, not bad, just strange.

All was going well on the island of the Devil Wears Wal-Mart. We were getting work done, no one was insulting anyone's intelligence or making outrageous demands. It was a nice change. Then 1:00 rolled around and the tides turned. Out of nowhere the DWW started aggressively demanding that I change my format for rehearsal...the same format that had been perfectly fine for the entire 3 hour rehearsal prior. I asked for some clarification about what exactly the expectations were for this rehearsal, but didn't get a straight answer. So I went over to the piano to sing, made eye contact with another employee and smiled. That was enough to merit a clandestine discussion, because immediately I was called into the hallway. THE HALLWAY! A favorite technique of kindergarten teachers and angry soccer moms everywhere, "May I speak to you in the hallway" complete with beckoning finger motion has got to be one of the most condescending things to do to an adult in public. So we chatted, and I was told that the smile I had shared with that employee was inappropriate because it meant I was adopting that specific employee's bad attitude.

HUH?

I was thoroughly confused. The DWW continued to talk and it was revealed that the big boss has been having some troubles with that particular employee and didn't want me sharing in the 'tude. During the lecture, I asked if I could say something. I had to ask about 6 times because each time I asked, I got a new speech about how the DWW is in charge and I need to remember that (got it, thanks). I was also told that if I was trying to give advice, it wasn't welcome because "I've been running a business for ten years and I don't need any advice." (Yep, clearly you've got it all figured out. No more learning necessary...in the education field...?)

I assured the DWW that it was simply an observation of how I perceived our communication. I said I found the way the DWW speaks to me and to others extremely condescending and insulting. The DWW, after much floundering, finally decided on the argument that I should get over it, not take it personally and realize that a lot of people out there are too busy to worry about how they are coming across to their employees. Really? That's your argument? "I'm too busy to worry about being a decent human being." My favorite part was actually the statement that as the boss, "I shouldn't be expected to change my personality for you. But if I observe something about you that needs changing, you should do it immediately. That's just how the business works." No, that's just how YOUR business works. The DWW honestly believes the business model of "It's my party and I'll cry if I want to" is appropriate, but any problems I have, I should just "get over" as part of the job description.

I disagree, and my Master's Degree in Instructional Leadership disagrees also. The best leaders are those who set the precedent, not the exception. Level 5 leaders, the ideal leadership model, are based on humility and professional will. They are not icons trying to make a show of their leadership. They lead from within, not above. If employees like their bosses, they will generally work harder because it doesn't feel like "work" in the negative connotation. Micro-managing, publicly demanding and constantly requiring check-ins, check-outs, triple checks and so on creates an atmosphere of mistrust, as if the boss doesn't truly believe that the employees can do their jobs.

Ok, so now I know that part of our problem stems from a difference in opinion about leadership styles. But it also stems from the fact that the DWW is incapable of self-analyzing. Meaning: the DWW is having personal and professional conflict with another employee, but rather than firing said employee or just "getting over it" as I was instructed to do with my issue, the DWW takes out frustration and annoyance on all other employees and doesn't realize it. Here's how I know this (enter today's wierdness).

I think the DWW actually attempted a round-about apology to me today. STOP THE PRESSES! I was called into the hallway (a second time. I hope mom doesn't find out or she won't make me my after-school snack) and was basically told several more times that there are issues I don't know about, don't take things personally and just do my job because that's how it works in "the business." Then, I had the conversation a THIRD time behind closed office doors. I don't know if my telling the DWW that the condescending tone is offensive actually sunk in after a few hours or what, but in a passive aggressive sort of way, I think that was a kind-of sort-of apology for being a huge jerk. I'm not sure if the apology is accepted yet. Time will tell.

On a side note, I found out recently that the Devil Wears Wal-Mart's address is literally 666. Coincidence? You decide.